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Me & Ennui Are Friends, Baby

by Sarah Mary Chadwick

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Joost Verweij
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Joost Verweij Very disturbing, very beautiful. Unbelievable intense. Favorite track: Every Loser Needs A Mother.
William Boyle
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William Boyle Greatest recent musical discovery. This album is now one of my favorites of the year. A mix of Shane MacGowan, Courtney Barnett, and Daniel Johnston by way of Jean Rhys and Charles Bukowski. So damn heart-rending and beautiful. Favorite track: Let’s Go Home.
Rule
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Rule so personal, moving, sad, and amazing

Favorite track: That Feeling Like.
Whyte Rushan
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Whyte Rushan I spent a bit time there, and heard this on 95BFM, on the Tottally Wired show with Jess Fu, and I thought we are doing this track by track Favorite track: Me And Ennui Are Friends, Baby.
jessica lovett
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jessica lovett it's impossible to pick a favorite track and even harder to explain how much this means to me. the closest i've felt to music in a while

"I felt like such a person with you then I / Found out I was nothing" Favorite track: Every Loser Needs A Mother.
robertbdavis
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robertbdavis Label me pervert, but chanced DL last BC Friday likely due to mound o unkept pubes as you don't see many taking that look out for a sit down lunch (also previewed a few tracks mind ;). But this turned into the real musical artistry deal. Only heard bits & pieces of the album as songs come on shuffle mix but standout so far is 'Was better at being young..'. She's super funny on the gram too w cute dog. Glad to know o this jewel! Favorite track: I Was Much Better At Being Young Than You Are.
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    Limited edition pink vinyl of Sarah Mary Chadwick's 7th LP 'Me & Ennui Are Friends, Baby'. PRE-ORDER: Shipped out for Feb 5 2021 release date.

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1.
A Mother’s Love Mothers never love me Baby thats why you should Fill me up with mother’s love Like my mama never could Fathers always dying Baby that’s why you will Me and my broken heart Another day amongst the rubble Brothers bide their time They’re not much for showing And so you disappear I don’t know where you’re going Me, I’m in a bottle Me, I’m growing hazy You said we were poison The fuck you know, you’re crazy You’re crazy Give me my Mother’s love just give it to me Here it is, I brought a glass I fucking had it for a second then I lost it No one else can take a chance Like me Well, I said I’d face the fire and I meant it But like a woman, that letter never sent it It doesnt matter ‘cause you only like the smell of my hair ‘Cause I buy perfume And to be honest it’s exhausting keeping up this act of loving Perfect bloom For you You said you’d never love me but that’s bullshit You never had love, how could you know it Well I don’t need a man And I don’t need a woman I’m just looking for a feeling That some call loving Surely I can stand I did it, it was nothing But life is proving harder Than I thought i could suffer Time swallows me like sinking sand I’m gargling and I’m warbling I felt like such a person with you then I Found out I was nothing And I break I break I break I wait I wait I wait I’m glass, you’re slate that waiter’s late I am fool proof, I proove fools have my face That waiter’s late what is his rate If it was my shop I don’t know if he’d get paid
2.
At Your Leisure You drag my clothes off I give you head parked at the lights I tell a select few dozen friends Hear from your wife But it’s always at your leisure My enjoyment I can’t measure Your mouth’s made for me My body fits into your hands Avoid the talking Don’t expect you to understand You are a holiday I am a waterslide I’ll never wash your clothes You’ll never be my guy Is it all for this song If it is, is that wrong I didn’t want to find love Now it’s burnt on my heart You’re a classic you’re a clown I’m a depressive always down Never sober I’ve decided The way you treat me’s uninvited You have terrible taste And our love’s such a waste I’ll quit one of these days But not till my tears go away Call me when you want a ride Call me when you want a wine Call me when you have the time But you’ll never call me mine
3.
That Feeling Like That feeling like everything’s melting away That feeling like one second equals a day That feeling like I can’t remember at all If I have been here for twenty years or four Well I think it’s four But wait Is it more that that More than that That feeling like everything’s under the sun That feeling like everyone’s two, but I’m one That feeling like crushing a month in my palm That feeling like millions of holes still to darn But I dont know how What is that smell Is it me Is it me That feeling when everything’s falling apart That feeling when no one knows their lines by heart I promise today has disappeared for me So anything you said, just say I agreed I said yes, of course You’re smart, for sure Baby Baby That feeling like everything’s turned on it’s head That long speech that starts out of blue, ‘Well I read..’ That feeling like I don’t care if we all die Fading curiosity as to if/why It will return I’ve heard it said What burns can burn Well, so I read That feeling like the end has eclipsed the start That feeling when somebody talks about art That feeling when going outside breaks your heart That feeling when nobody talks about art Lets fuck, I said Let’s fuck my friend Let’s fuck, it’s dead Lets fuck, I’m scared And I’m scared And I’m scared
4.
Every Loser Needs A Mother You’re nothing you’re no one to me Don’t call me with problems ‘Cause I’ll help and hate myself The wind I blew in on would freeze The warmest of blood Why do I always hurt myself I’m facedown in a street I wobble to the beat But every loser needs a mother Every drunk I’ll make my lover You’re not special you’re another Way I give life to my father I’m done being careful to you You tore all my time up And you never told the truth Look, hey you’re a project it’s true A real fixer-upper Fuck it, she deserves you Well I’m nothing but I’m here Despite my best efforts dear Well every weak guy needs a mother I’ll be here I’ll be your mother Unable to resist summons On my knees I’ll drink it all in Every loser needs a mother I’ll be here I’ll be your mother Every broken man I’ll cling to Please come in, what did you bring though? Well I laid out his clothes And I laughed at his jokes And I stumbled around in Heels and no clothes And I went to his hell And he kicked me out And I still can tell what Love is about He’s so fucking dumb And I talk to myself And I’m so fucking dumb Someone please put me down Well I register this Register nothing else Not in life but a song But I think that still counts
5.
Me And Ennui Are Friends, Baby Me and Ennuie are friends, baby I’m scared of dying but that Won’t stop me trying Tried to end it all, I’d not tried lately August 11 2019 And I didn’t call my mum ‘Cause I hate that bitch And I didn’t call my dad ‘Cause the phone don’t reach where he is But I called my friend Tim I’d do anything for that kid On the way to stay alive I asked the guy his job He said, ‘A Paramedic’ Death comes first, don’t wanna talk about the break up Or the other break up Spend my money on my makeup Working on my body, wrap my crazy like a package Who could’ve known How broke the wreckage And maybe I should chill out on blaming my parents Forgiveable at 25, it’s not cute at 37 But maybe I’ll just pour my soul into another few songs The only time that I feel real The only time I don’t feel wrong And I miss love, I can hear it crashing like waves On a warm beach where the air is kisses and everybody’s saved And I wish I never put myself in all this danger Perhaps I’ll meet Safety and we’ll shake hands and he wont be a stranger
6.
Always Falling If I could I’d make my way to you Bite ‘til blood become a part of you But you don’t want me I always want the things I can’t have most of all No pride I’m always falling From here to other worlds If you’d just adore me I swear I’d quickly smash it on the ground Make us wish each other never found Make your blood run cold Slid around on each other’s beds Wine and sweat now love’s locked in my head ‘Cause I’m a sucker for anyone who’s distant and aloof most of all No flight I’m always falling Into other people’s worlds You’ll never adore me But I’ll chase it ‘till I die Or you die Whatever comes first Only in death my blood is cold Leave a window slightly open Leave a key beside the door We can’t be together broken But maybe one day we’ll be whole
7.
Full Mood 04:14
There’s the wine And your eyes straight up decorate this room And the day like the tide Fucks off following the moon You light me a cigarette And I’ve always liked that move You know someone at the bar And I’m happy that I don’t ‘Cause you got me in a full mood I’m on fire for you Wanna colour in the world for you ‘Cause you got me in a full mood Let’s just casually get drunk Throw some glitter on the road Tell some broad we’re gonna fuck We can do it if you want You dont think you’re very bright God, you’re shining like a star And we’d rip this town to shreds Cutting round into the dark ‘Cause you got me in a full mood Thinking of your sweat makes red my blues Wanna colour in the world for you ‘Cause you got me in a full mood Well you got me in a full mood Tapping into something in my blood Well you got me in a full mood You got me in a full mood
8.
Let’s Go Home Let’s go home While homes still something Let’s go home While home’s still there baby I’m not much for repeating lyrics But I’ll repeat every sickness I’ve every had baby Have you ever had a day when you just felt beautiful Like every part of you had come to life Well I’m a kind of person, I can’t help you anywhere Everyone keeps calling, I’m not alright Where I’m from the night it freezes All the sound ‘til it’s crystal And you can’t breathe Where I’m from the trees move and they reproach you ‘Cause you can leave But they can’t leave Well they can leave But they can’t leave I know how clever that sounds It’s all I’ve got now you’re not around Let’s go home While home’s still something Let’s go home While home’s still there baby I’m not one for admitting weakness But I’ve really let us down this time baby Have you ever had a day when you just felt colourful Like every part of you was drenched in light Well I’m a kind of person you can’t take me anywhere Everyone keeps calling But I’m not alright ‘Cause you can leave But I can’t leave And you can leave But I cant leave
9.
Don’t Like You Talking Don’t like you talking To other girls Though we’re both taken To seeking thrills You turn me out I’ll turn you on One day we’ll be old One day we’ll be gone She’ll pick you up You’ll lay me down Am I different? I don’t know how But surely secrets Our bodies know Can count for something Could melt the snow You like her photo But none of mine Don’t like you looking I know she’s fine She got her lips done Hotter than me But I’m so- You know it’s me You send a message Not making sense I’m staying ready I think that’s best Click on a window Ignore your phone Not doing drugs Suddenly stoned Breaking the fourth wall I’m not a void I’m strictly business You are a toy I turn you on You turn me out One minute real The next you’re gone Don’t like you talking To other girls Don’t like you talking To other girls
10.
I Was Much Better At Being Young Than You Are No one sees the things I do Draining out my eyes Driving round for you I saw a picture of you not long ago Didn’t wanna know you Wouldn’t have wanted to On my lawn in plain view like a burning cross Run your fingers over me my loves embossed Ran under streetlight ‘til my heart stopped You’re not as good at being young as I was With a book under my arm baby Polished concentrated charm And I knew everyone in town baby Around me, in my mind, the whole city spun And I never felt that way again Pure love on my skin Proud to call him my man You’re not as good at being young as I am ‘Cause I did it right baby I made friends with the night So even when I’m lost inside him He makes sure that I get home alright So much starlight in my eyes Causing trouble chasing guys And I won them in my funny little room Red satin sheets and cheap perfume So wind down the windows baby Give me your hand I’ll hold it tight And if you never speak to me again baby I’ll never forget tonight
11.
While You’re Sleeping And I almost drowned And I almost lay down on the ground Your voice the only sound Tied to someone’s belt, you’re a fucking child I know love when I see it I don’t need you to believe it I choose torture over dreaming I crawl into your mind when your sleeping Round and round and round Haven’t been so floored in the longest time Cloud nine to a cloud Where you were just a puff of smoke, smell of bile We are something to compete with Will I ever get my strength back I grow docile eat my feelings You’re so facile you’re a demon I know love when I see it I don’t need you to believe it I choose torture over dreaming I crawl into your mind when your sleeping
12.
Will The Lord Hold My Hand Will the lord hold my hand When I’ve only ever been bad Breaking down houses around me ‘Cause I can’t keep my soul on dry land Don’t know how I compare To the ones who mostly play fair But Jesus I swear That I try every day to get clear Get clear of everything that’s holding me back Get clear, listen I don’t want you coming back ‘Cause you are a danger I can’t afford Dragging me down into mud You are a stranger and I am bored You are the one that I love Will the lord stop my sad Well I think that I’ve had my fair share Well I know I’ve been bad The villain’s a costume I wear Oh lord please agree That my time crying tears is through Open your doors to me And I promise I’ll always be true Be true, but that means I’m stuck to that man Like glue, I’m stuck to his eyes and his hands But he is a danger I can’t afford He doesn’t care who I am He is a stranger and he is bored Only wants me on my back You are a danger I can’t afford Dragging me down into mud If I could catch you But hey, then what? You’re only the one that I love Mess it up Fuck it up Ruin all my loves This is my lot

about

New Zealand-born, Melbourne-based singer-songwriter Sarah Mary Chadwick announces her seventh full-length album, Me And Ennui Are Friends Baby, out February 5th, 2021 on Rice Is Nice Records (AUS/NZ/EU) and Ba Da Bing Records (US/EU), and today presents its lead single/video, “Every Loser Needs A Mother.”

Me And Ennui Are Friends, Baby will be released on LP with a bonus limited run of pink coloured vinyl. Accompanying a small number of the coloured vinyl will be a short run of alternate covers, individually hand-painted by Chadwick herself.

Comprised entirely of minimal solo piano arrangements, Ennui is despondently clear-eyed and smirkingly self-deprecating, completing a trilogy of records that started with 'The Queen Who Stole The Sky' and her only outing to date featuring a full band, 'Please Daddy'.

Each record has followed Chadwick’s internal processing after a traumatic event, with Chadwick’s zeal for psychoanalysis front and centre. On Ennui, Chadwick presents an exacting intensity with her choice to pare back to piano and vocals. It's in this stark setting that she focuses on the attempt she made on her life in 2019.

Just weeks before the Ennui recordings in 2019, Chadwick endured the breakup of a long term relationship and attempted her own life. These events followed the deaths of her father and a close friend, and it’s from this weighty internal mire that Chadwick emerges throughout the trilogy. Imaginably, the result is staggeringly abject.

However, the incandescent nature of her will, knack for reportage and searing dark humour sets fire to the world she describes over these 12 songs. Lead single “Every Loser Needs A Mother” offers a glimpse into this dark humour, as Chadwick describes an undesired need to take care of a dependant man: “Well I laid out his clothes // And I laughed at his jokes // And I stumbled around in // Heels and no clothes // And I went to his hell // And he kicked me out.” The track touches on all-too familiar tropes, Chadwick’s voice commanding and wryly confessional over piano.

The methods Chadwick employed on Ennui contrast those of her previous full-band record, which thrust her into a very different world of rehearsal, planning, restraint and control as a functional tool. The result, 2020’s critically acclaimed Please Daddy, was her most aching and engaging achievement to date: “a raw, often unnerving experience,” which “delivers compelling and uplifting catharsis” (Mojo). Recording Ennui shortly after the Please Daddy sessions, Chadwick concludes her trilogy by returning to the most immediate compositional process she can muster, doing it alone, with less between her and the microphone than ever before. Joined by long time production collaborators, Ennui was mastered by David Walker at Stepford Audio and mixed and recorded by Geoff O’Connor at Vanity Lair - both expertly bringing scale, subtlety and intangible ascendence to this recording. On Ennui, Chadwick is free, there is nowhere for her or us to run from the need to very presently and repeatedly articulate her trauma until it is simply, “articulated out.”

Additionally, a string of launches will be announced where Sarah will perform live to a small Melbourne crowd. These performances will be streamed live and will revolve around material from all three of the trilogy records. It will take place at a new Melbourne venue TBA, coinciding with an announcement about a series of continuous residency shows at this venue.

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released February 5, 2021

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Sarah Mary Chadwick Melbourne, Australia

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